To try to alleviate this, the staff, who did an absolutely wonderful job, called everybody table by table to go to the buffet. As we waited, a resident walked in with her son on her arm. They began to look for their table.
My grandmother pointed. "See that lady?" she asked.
I nodded.
"Nobody ever wants to sit with her," MomMom sniffed. "All she ever does is complain."
Shortly after we were called to get our dinner. But when you got to the hallway, you still weren't allowed to go right in. You had to line up. So some people would follow the rules and wait forever while others would simply saunter in.
It caused some angry feelings.
After we had waited for a while, we were finally told that we would be next, when a group of residents went to the front of the line. My mother kindly explained that we had been waiting.
But MomMom, God love her, announced to this group of women, quite loudly, that they had to go to the BACK of the line.
By this time, the women knew this, and were already cross about it. So my grandmother shrieking at them was the last straw.
"WE ARE!" one of the women shouted back, right in MomMom's face.
And my grandmother swatted her, half-playfully but hard, and said, "I didn't mean YOU."
(Which, she obviously did.)
I was afraid there might be some walkers flying soon, but luckily, the women walked away and we got our meal.
I guess you never outgrow meanness, even if you are pushing ninety.
I read something recently about the elderly and 'meanness.' To sum up, it basically said that as people get older and their options narrow down and regrets bubble to the surface, they can become more bitter and will let insults/complaints fly more easily. The thing I read said that the elderly, despite the problems/struggles of getting older, have a duty to their children to remain positive as they age - otherwise, all their children have as an example of old age is despair and nastiness. (It also mentioned that, as a bonus, if the elderly stayed more positive, said children would visit more often, lol.) What do you think?
ReplyDeleteI can definitely say that I have a fear of growing older. When I visit MomMom, she always says, "Don't get old" and I tell her that I don't plan to. This makes her mad which, now that I reflect on it, may be my intention. But I am afraid of being old and alone. I wouldn't say that she's ALONE, but I can see why she feels that way sometimes. Ironically, it is just as you said - if she acted more cheerful, family members would be more inclined to visit.
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